Do you or someone you know suffer from uncontrollable flatulence, irritable bowels, or the occasional shart? There is help! AssMints is a 100% non FDA approved solution to all your rectal problems. It comes in many tantalizing, scrumptious flavors, is easy to insert, affordable, and will improve your quality of life by 86%. Studies have shown that people who use AssMints are more confident, social, likely to be hit on, and more successful. AssMints can be used by men, women, and a variety of animals including dogs, cats, birds, and farm animals. *Not recommended for reptiles.
AssMints make the perfect Holiday gift, Anniversary present, Birthday Pinata filler, or just an everyday way to tell someone you care about that you don't like the way they smell. One size fits all butts, small or large. Please note, larger than normal butts may need several AssMints for full effect. Feeling adventurous? Try mixing various mints to produce limitless custom essences. 3 re-usable dishwasher safe applicators included with each case.
We understand that not all products work for everyone. Butt, there is a no money back guarantee for ASSmints, so you can enjoy them with confidence and know that if you are not 100% satisfied with the product, don't call me because I don't care. Don't wait!!! Order Now!!!
Our mint of the month club is perfect for anyone wanting to stay fresh all year long! Each month 50 mints will be delivered to your doorstep. These best selling suppositories come in; Mint, Chocolate, Lemon, Cinnamon, & Pistachio!
Not sure what fanny flavor to order? Let the stars decide for you! Simply send us your D.O.B. & our astrological colorectalogists will prepare the perfect ASSortment for you... perhaps it'll be; Hot Apple Pie, Honeysuckle, or Creamed Corn!
These holiday limited edition flavors are sure to blow everyone away! Prepare Yourself for the wafts of; Honey Baked Ham, Fresh Cut Pine, Gingerbread, Hot Gravy, Marsh-mellow Surprise, & Crunchy Fudge Drizzle!